Away away away

Well, we had a fantastic time. Have you ever been forced to take a vacation that you didn’t want to, and didn’t even know you needed that badly?

For once, everything went smoothly. No hassles. The only issues were that I hadn’t brought shampoo and the hotel didn’t provide any. Bar soap is not so good for my hair, but I survived. It didn’t even bother me.

The wedding was one of the funnest I’ve ever attended. There was an open bar, and that was fantastic. I’ve only ever attended one wedding where there was an open bar (they’re just not that common in Utah) and Sassafras  was in attendance at that one so we didn’t really get to take advantage. But I got the worth of my plane ticket back in liquor that night, that’s for sure. I was so, um, tipsy, that I was willing to laugh and smile for the camera. I thought this was a good picture that night, and don’t like it at all today, but I’ll give it to you as a slice of that gaiety and the best view of my dress that you’re going to get (as well as the best view of my decolletage that any of you will likely ever see…)

I also, of course, took a picture of my shoes…

That was also the longest wedding I’ve ever been to, running from 5:30 to 11:30. I gave a speech to the bride and groom, and, if I do say so myself, I was pretty good even though I had 3 mixed drinks, 2 glasses of wine, and one glass of champagne in me at the time. Here’s a recreation of my speech:

I’ve known Jennifer for almost 4 years now. In fact, I’ll have known her for 4 years in a little over a month. I met her at the orientation for the English department’s graduate program. I walked in and I was already disillusioned, bitter, and growly. I was not happy to be there. And there she was: smiling, golden, happy to meet everyone, obviously excited to start the program. I hated her at once.

For the rest of the semester, she was the one person who was guaranteed to get under my skin. I would come home and tell Klove how the annoying girl had annoyed me again by asking a question, or breathing. She was just always so happy and outgoing. It was sickening. I couldn’t stand her.

Then, at the department’s christmas party I was forced to sit next to her. And I was forced to talk to her. And in getting to know her I realized what it was, exactly, that bothered me so much. We were so much alike, but in addition she was everything that I secretly wished I could be.

And from that moment on all the annoyance and enmity turned to love and admiration. I invited her to my house for dinner one night and Klove met her and also liked her right away. Jennifer has been a joy and an example and a great friend in our lives. There are people who come into your life and never leave it, because they were always meant to be there, and Jennifer is one of those for me.

Many, many years ago when I was still young and romantic, I envisioned exactly the kind of love that I wanted to draw into my life. That vision turned into a poem, and the only poem I’ve ever written that is remotely appropriate for reading at a wedding. Jennifer had hoped that I could write a poem specifically for her wedding, but unfortunately, despite how much I love her, I was unable to do that. So I offer this older poem instead, as a blessing on her marriage and my hope for her future.

Try for Thickening

To embrace like water
not the helpless crash of wave upon rock
where two elements
throw themselves
into a cycle of clash, crack
and ricochet,
neither managing to pound
through the other’s defense,
neither willing to give up.
Not this

but rather the passion
of seaweed and saltwater
swirling against each other,
the devotion of pond and bank
an upward spiral,
water sinking further into earth
earth liquifying with water
until they are entwined
thick
blooming fire-red flowers
shooting grasses, reeds
into the air
creating haven.

To embrace like water
to experience the union
felt between flesh and liquid
as a hand stirs a bath.
To current around the other
and meet ourselves
unflinching.
To be saturated
without being logged.
to be able to retain
the feel of those waves
the temperature of the bath
the force of the reeds and flowers
after disengagement,
after pulling out,
dripping,
wet.

[And yes, Moss, this is the same poem I read for your wedding. Because you were right back then, and it is a good poem for a wedding, even if it makes me blush to read it in front of the wedding couple's grandparents...]

So that was pretty much our weekend. There were a few more adventures in there, one of which involved Klove uttering the line, “so, after this do you want to go back to our hotel with us and help us drink our 2 buck chuck?” (and offer which was, sadly, turned down) and another which involved a very lovely woman in a turquoise dress helping me zip my own dress back up after it had come undone on the dance floor. Neither of these adventures were nearly as dirty as they sound in retrospect, but they were all hilariously funny under the influence of lemon drops and peach champagne. Ah let the good times roll…

The other adventure, one involving a bunch of lesbians and a bike shop is the subject of another post coming soon.

As for Sassa, well, she had a fantastic time with her grandparents and cousin and came home to us happy, tired, and sun browned from all her hours in the wading pool. The experiment was definitely a success!