28
I’m sorry there was a pw protected post. Here’s the skinny: I got offered that job I interviewed for. I’m going to take it. It pays a lot less. Our household income will be 1/4 less than it is today. Things are going to be tight.
After my last-ditch attempt to concieve, Klove and I agreed that we’d start trying with her body. When we were TTC Sassa, it took us 6 cycles — but we found out that the first 4 cycles were anovulatory as Klove has PCOS. She conceived on her 2nd clomid cycle.
This time, her first clomid cycle was a bust. The Thing That Cannot Be Blogged About happened half way through that cycle, so it was ok that the cycle was a bust. The next cycle Klove didn’t take her clomid as we weren’t sure what was going to happen. Things eased up and we decided that I was going to try for the IVF program in Houston. We also decided that while we were getting those ducks in a row, Klove would continue to keep trying — with the condition that even if she were to get pregnant I’d still go through with the ivf as ivfs are not for-sure things anyway. But that if I got pregnant with the ivf then she’d stop.
So, 2 weeks ago, without having taken Clomid, without even tracking her lh to predict ovulation, Klove got a feeling that she was ovulating and so she called Mallow and arranged a time to go over and get the baby batter from him. I couldn’t take any time off work (godDAMN MY FUCKING JOB) and so I wasn’t there.
This morning, the morning after we made the decision that I would take the part time job with the serious paycut, Klove peed on a pregnancy test.
There was a line.
So she called and got a beta ordered. Today, 13 days past when she inseminated, her hCG is 28. Second beta scheduled for next week.
We’re expecting child number 2. EDD November 21, 2008. Just in time to qualify us for a nice tax credit.
Which we’re going to need since I’m taking a job that won’t allow us to pay for daycare…
I’ve been planning the “We’re expecting our second child” post for 2 years now. This isn’t how I thought it would read.
I really need people to tell me that I’m not being extraordinarly stupid for taking the new job now that we’re going to have another mouth to feed and another daycare bill to pay…
March 14, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Yeah! I am so excited for you guys! Yeah, this will require a complete shift in how you guys view money and your support structure, but it will all work out, things always do. But whatever, there is currently an itty bitty person growing, meant to be in your family! That is so amazing!
March 14, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Holy shit.
It will work out, babe. The new job will be so much better for your soul that you won’t even be able to say the word stupid anymore.
March 14, 2008 at 4:10 pm
CONGRATS!!!
March 14, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Congratulations. The money thing will work out. Don’t worry.
March 14, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I’m so happy for you all!
But I imagine, through the excitement and the stress about finances and jobs and applications for grad school, that your feelings are quite conflicted.
But now there’s a new baby! Your family was obviously meant to be formed in this way, even though it wasn’t the ideal way that you envisaged or hoped.
Good luck with the pregnancy and the grad school application (personal statement was awesome btw) and the new job. It’s all happening!
And I definitely don’t think you’re at all stupid for taking the job with these new circumstances - a happier you will make a happier partner and a happier parent which makes a happier family. It’s only money and will all work out.
March 14, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Huge, huge, huge congrats to you, Klove and Sassa!! That is absolutely fantastic news.
I have hope that everything will work out. Everything else is falling into place, so you’ll find a way to make this work. Any chance your new job would let you bring the baby with you to work when he/she is first born?
March 14, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Congratulations! And the rest will sort itself out, I am sure.
March 14, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Oh, congratulations! That’s awesome!
And the finances will work out–the job and the baby both are the universe conspiring to make you happy!
March 14, 2008 at 4:36 pm
wow. this is a complicated post to comment to as my reactions are all over the place. Thrilled for you & K. But, in a way, also hurting for the emotions that I can only imagine that you may have. I mean, look, if I had been trying for eons & was now in your shoes you can bet your ass my emotions would be complicated. So please please please forgive/excuse me if I am just making assumptions here- but I am just feeling = parts YAY and = parts like I want to take you out for a drink and offer you a shoulder.
As for the family finances with the new (YAY!!!!) job- you will work it out. Honestly you will. I think once you are out from under the wet blanket that is your current job you will find some solutions to help (oh dear was that way Pollyana of me!).
This might also be the time that you guys start cashing in on the Cutest Kid in Utah. Gap ad please!
I love you. I love K. And I am here in whatever emotional capacity you need.
xoxo
March 14, 2008 at 4:38 pm
You’re not stupid. Nor are you extraordinarily stupid.
And I get to tell you that in person and offer my congratulatory hug in 6 days! Six!
March 14, 2008 at 4:39 pm
congratulations!
as my parents told us, “if we waited to have kids until we were ready (read: could afford it) we’d still be waiting.”
March 14, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Aw, congratulations!!
March 14, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Oh my god. Your good news today is astounding. Any words of encouragement I could offer are so cliche. But this is what you guys have wanted, a BABY!! So, it’s WONDERFUL!!!
And I have to say “everything will work out” because it’s on the tip of my tongue and making it itchy. I believe it will.
March 14, 2008 at 5:09 pm
1. Congratulations!!!!
2. You are not even remotely stupid. You should have a job you don’t hate. I have a strong hunch that having a job you don’t hate is worth far more than the money would be, and that having less stress and being happier in your job will mean you are a better mom to your kids, a better partner, and most importantly a better friend to yourself. You totally deserve all kinds of happiness.
And you know what, be extra good to yourself right now. Even when the stuff that’s happening to you is good stuff, you’ve got a huge cascade of changes happening and that’s stressful. I have a very good feeling about everything that’s happening right now, though. A very good feeling.
March 14, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Congratulations!
My reaction is also a little influenced by my own IF experience, and therefore wondering if you are totally ok, or feeling a bit complicated as Cali said.
March 14, 2008 at 5:24 pm
What wonderful news! On all counts! Money things always work themselves out. It’s so much healthier for the whole family for you to be happy and broke than it is to be miserable and comfortable. CONGRATULATIONS! One of my best friends inseminated today and I almost feel like the timing of your post is a sign…
March 14, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Wow, could you have any more awesome news in your last three posts? Job, School, Family? For real. Now, future, forever.
Those are three massive things, all at once, all with different needs and considerations. No wonder you’ve got some questions, girl — bring em on! The answers on the other hand… lemme know when you find the source
Absolutely congrats to you and your family and Klove. Echoing Cali to say this is both awesomely hopeful, and perhaps a little personally tough after having so many almosts of your own. The joy and sadness, should they come together, don’t cancel each other out. What wonderful news - keep us updated, as I’m sure you will. xo f
March 14, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Congratulations (and I echo the thoughts and hugs of Cali and SCB, as I too imagine that there must be some pangs mixed in with the joy).
And this just adds to the parallels - we can scrimp together next year as we both explore the new world of being families of FOUR!
Yay for an awesome Friday all around!
March 14, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I agree with Cali and Scarred too! But I am super duper excited for ya to be pregnant again! that’s great news!!
March 14, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Wow! Congratulations on the job and the baby!
March 14, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Wow you folks have been busy! Congratulations all around.
March 14, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Mazal Tov!
Fingers crossed for all karmic good juju to come your way.
March 14, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Wow! Now we totally have to finish your interview!
Take the job that will make you happy.
I’m glad you didn’t have to go through a hellish ordeal trying to get her pregnant again. But it is also always a bit of a shocker when it happens quickly (and without drugs, damn!)
Mazel Tov, mamacita.
March 14, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Yay!! Be happy about that, enjoy it.
Not stupid at all. The crap of the past is now gone, and there’s a lot of excitment ahead. But yes, I understand.
This is good news. You’ve needed that in spades, and it sounds like this has been a good week.
March 14, 2008 at 8:42 pm
i think this is great news! Hope and faith and truth prevails and as a woman who grew up with paycheck-to-paycheck parents I can tell you that my therapy issues have NOTHING to do with money or lack of it in the house.
March 14, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Chicory,
While it’s not you expecting the child, you are still expecting and I am very happy for you! I think this new part time job will be better for you and your family, as less stress will make you a much happier mommy!!! Congratulations on the new addition.
I know I am a lurker and no one but you knows who I am…I too have PCOS and know how unpredictable and odd cycles can be. I hope that everything goes smoothly for you and Klove. I can’t wait to read your posts from now on…Not that I don’t hang on your every word already
March 15, 2008 at 7:20 am
AWESOME!!!!!!!!
CONGRATS TO YOU LOVES!!!!
im so excited!!!!!
hugs tonya :0)
March 15, 2008 at 9:03 am
Congratultions. I’m SO happy for you both.
I hope like other mom-mom families you still decide to do the IVF program and have lesbian triplets
What a great time for your family. The new job, new baby…possible chance at having one yourself.
Things couldn’t be better.
March 15, 2008 at 9:28 am
You are never exceptionally stupid when you make a big decision with your partner that both of you feel will be for the good of your family. I’ve read and (mostly) lurked here long enough to have faith that the two of you can make this work. CONGRATULATIONS!! (by the way)
March 15, 2008 at 10:45 am
Congrats!! That is fantastic news on everything!
March 15, 2008 at 10:47 am
Congratulations!! I don’t think it’s stupid either. You will make this work out. In my family, both of us have worked part-time to avoid childcare since the beginning. Year to year, we’re never quite sure how it is going to work out since there’s always a chance that our schedules will have to change, but so far, so good.
March 15, 2008 at 11:29 am
Wow wow wow– mind completely blown. Even though you guys were trying, you must feel like this is coming out of nowhere.
I’m really excited for you guys but also in shock. You must be in shock X 10. And the feelings have to be so complicated.
I believe these things work themselves out. As long as you’re taking care of the emotional wellbeing of your family (yourself sooo included), I think the finances will work themselves out. I absolutely do not think you made a mistake in taking that job.
You’re on my heart.
March 15, 2008 at 11:37 am
It’s good news. I know it’s hard for you in so many ways, but I’m still happy for you… in the mixed up happiness that I can.
And hey… Sassa and Chuzzle are only one week apart… and Fraggle and your new one are due only a week apart… maybe it was destined to be so.
March 15, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I just saw Klove this morning and heard the news! I had chills all over my body - I’m SO happy for all FOUR of you!!
At the same time, I had alittle ache in my heart for you - knowing it wasn’t the path you all had hoped for. But I’m with KJ, I say keep heading in the IVF direction. I vote for lesbian triplets!
xo!
March 15, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Wow.
Reading the beginning of your post, I had no idea how it would end. I planned our “we’re pregnant!” post for years before we finally got to write it….and it was nothing like I planned, either, we had the whole scare with the negative test.
As others have said, I am thinking of you in complex ways, and want to encourage you to feel whatever you are feeling, however, confusing it may be, however conflicted it may be (and apologies if I am making assumptions here by thinking how I would feel).
I think the job is a *good* thing for you as a soon-to-be mom of two. I hate money, and I hate not having it even more, but your current job is no good for you and that’s no good for your family.
March 15, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Everyone else has said what I was going to say and far more eloquently so I will just say…
Mazel Tov! Here’s to a healthy, drama-free nine months and a much happier Chicory!
March 15, 2008 at 2:50 pm
First, this is freaking great news. Second, you just make it work. You both have jobs and a roof over your head…. You will make it happen. Take the job - your sanity will prove to be worth more than the money.
March 15, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Congratulations to you, Klove and Sassa. The new job will work out. You need to be in a job where you are happy.
March 15, 2008 at 8:12 pm
whoa. good heavens. that was unexpected, I must say. As others have said. So happy for you. So complicated. So crazy. These are usually the things that work out perfectly in the end, the crazy ones. EVERYTHING is better if you don’t hate your job.
March 15, 2008 at 8:48 pm
What amazing news! Congratulations over and over and over again on the pregnancy!!! And congratulations over and over and over again on your new job, too. I know I’m echoing everyone else when I say that being in a job that gives you joy and enables you to help others will be so good for you that you’ll wonder how you managed to stay in the soul-sucking job from hell for so long. And I can only imagine how complicated your emotions are when you’ve tried for so long and with the crazy insane laws in your state. I hope that it will still happen for you, and in the meantime, wow–you are blessed with a fantastic family who is blessed with a fantastic you.
March 16, 2008 at 10:46 am
I’ll admit that I haven’t read through all of the other comments but my thoughts echo many I did read through.
1. I’m SO excited for you both.
2. I’m certain that you being happier in your work life will lead to a better home life for your family, and the shorter hours will definitely make it easier as well.
3. I hope that you and Klove are able to talk openly about whatever conflicting feelings you must be having and that you can reach out to those of us you’re comfortable talking to both IRL and online for support in working through that.
4. I’m SO so thrilled for you.
March 16, 2008 at 4:29 pm
I have nothing to add that hasn’t been said before. Congrats to you and your family. Take the job — money be damned. And let yourself feel however you feel.
March 16, 2008 at 9:53 pm
How can so much good happen in such a short time? Celebrate all the joy.
Despite the finances, the new job is a blessing.
Congratulations to all 3 of you.
March 17, 2008 at 7:40 am
Just adding to the chorus, sending complicated congratulations and confidence that you will figure it out.
March 17, 2008 at 7:45 am
[...] 2008 Filed under: Uncategorized — hipiegrl @ 2:45 pm Oh my gosh, everyone needs to go give Chicory, Klove and Sassa a gigantic hug of congratualtions becasue they are having a [...]
March 17, 2008 at 8:53 am
Wow, so much momentuous change all at once. I wish you the best in all of it.
Also, I’m thinking about you; the part of you that tried so hard for so long. You’re welcoming this pregnancy with grace and joy, but please know that we’re here for you during the times you might need to be ungraceful, if only for a few sentences.
Bottom line… congratulations on the job, pregnancy, newfound peace and acceptance and your rediscovered manuscripts… perhaps you can sell them to pay your way through grad school?
March 17, 2008 at 12:11 pm
that’s awesome! congrats!!!
March 20, 2008 at 8:49 am
I am so behind on my blog reading!! Congratulations!! I’m just not sure what else to say– you made room for this, and it happened. I’m thrilled.
March 24, 2008 at 11:33 am
Congrats!!! Sorry I am late to the party!
April 3, 2008 at 10:30 am
I’m very late to commenting too because I’m so behind. But congratulations on the job. My partner worked with the same organization for years and it was the nicest most affirming group of people. The timing of the pregnancy is wild - congratulations!
April 10, 2008 at 9:05 am
Holy crap! The things that happen when I’m on vacation …
EVERY HAPPINESS, to your growing family, Chicory.
And yes, I’ve read the more recent posts, so I realize there is some concern, may still be some concern, but, blessings, blessings, blessings on that tiny beating heart….